


Breathe Again

by sunkissedjoon94



Series: Junhao song inspired one shots [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Joshua is the bestest friend possible, Jun is whipped, M/M, Minghao is bad with feelings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, and this fic took forever, tagged to My I
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 08:15:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15068993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunkissedjoon94/pseuds/sunkissedjoon94
Summary: An idea I've had for a while. My first Junhao (and Svt) fic. Basically, Minghao is bad with feelings, but there is a happy ending in store.





	Breathe Again

Junhui could tell something was off. Minghao never outright avoided him like he was doing now, not unless he was upset. The younger had been hanging out with Mingyu more and more, avoiding being alone with Junhui even for a moment. He had even slept on the couch in the living room twice before ending up crashing in Mingyu and Jihoon’s room, confusing the older even more. He figured his boyfriend would want to be around him more, especially after the amazing response Carats had to his song. Everyone loved their song and their choreography that they shared, including the other members. They'd go through the day complimenting the Chinese members on how amazing their vocals were in the song and Soonyoung would compliment them on how great their dancing had gotten. So just why exactly was Minghao avoiding his boyfriend?

“Oh god.” Junhui groaned, bringing his hands to his face. He laid on the floor in Joshua’s room to complain about his love life after the older had offered to listen. “He's going to break up with me. It has to be it. Him and Mingyu-yah have been hanging out more lately.”

“It doesn't mean they're dating.” Joshua pointed out, “they-”

“Well of course not! Hao is still with me and he said himself he'd never cheat on his significant other because he couldn't imagine hurting them that way.” Juhui’s voice got softer as he voiced his next thought, “that he couldn't hurt  _ me  _ that way.”

“He wouldn't do that to you Jun-ah. You know that. Maybe he's not feeling well or Mingyu needs him.” Joshua moved over and sat by Junhui. He put a comforting hand on his friend’s shoulder and rubbed it gently, “maybe try talking to him?”

“How? He avoids me hyung.” Junhui pouted. 

“Want me to mediate? Or we can get Soonyoung or Seungcheol to mediate.” Joshua offered. 

Junhui shook his head with a sigh. “I’ll give him some time and then probably corner him later.” He tilted his head to look at Joshua, “am I pathetic hyung?”

“No. You're worried about your boyfriend which is normal. You're not pathetic.” Joshua assured. 

“Thank you hyung.” Junhui whispered. 

Joshua smiled and nodded, rubbing his shoulder again, “I'm always here for you Jun-ah.”

\--------

Junhui watched as Minghao stood in the doorway to Jihoon and Mingyu’s room, talking to them both, leaning against the doorframe as if he belonged there. Since talking to Joshua, Junhui decided he had to do something. Maybe this would be his chance. He waited until Minghao said bye to them and walked away before he went over to catch up to him. “Hao! Hey.”

“Oh. Hi Junnie.” Minghao didn't sound like he was happy to see him, which hurt, but Junhui acted like it didn't bother him. His boyfriend probably just needed time.

“I was talking to Joshua hyung earlier and he mentioned this really great place that has really delicious healthier foods. I was wondering if you'd want to go with me and grab some, kind of as a date?” Junhui kept his voice light, hoping that the sound of a date wouldn't scare his boyfriend away. 

“A date. Right um,” Minghao didn't know what to say and glanced at the ground before looking at Junhui, “why?”

“Well cause we haven't had a date recently silly. I miss you and want to know what you're up to.” Junhui tried not to sound jealous as he voiced his next thought, “I know you and Mingyu-yah have been able to hang out, and I haven't been able to get a chance to ask you how it's been, or if you found anything really cool, or looked at the pictures you've taken. I feel like a bit of a bad boyfriend.”

“Oh. Um, Junnie. I-” Minghao’s voice changed and Junhui could tell he was losing him. 

“If you don't that's okay too Hao. I was probably going to order some take out and then go practice this dance Soonyoung-ah wants me to work on with him. You could join if you'd like too.” Junhui acted like it wasn't a big deal, but it was. He could feel his boyfriend slipping through his fingers. He was losing Minghao. 

“I actually made plans with Mingyu again Junnie. I'm sorry. I was going to go shower and then go out with him again. We were going to try meeting up with the other 97 liners with Seokmin.” Minghao looked at Junhui, “can we rain check the date?”

“Yeah. Of course. Go have fun Hao. I’ll be here when you get back.” Junhui said. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Minghao’s cheek, close to his lips to test how his boyfriend would react. When Minghao didn't, he took a tiny step closer and kissed him, hoping it was a good sign. 

Minghao’s lips didn't seem to move against his, and Junhui was too scared to open his eyes and look at him, but when hands met his chest and he was being pushed back a little, he felt his heart break and wondered if Minghao could feel it under his fingers.

“Sorry Junnie. I'm already running a little behind. Mingyu said he and Seokmin were already ready to go and waiting on me.” Minghao apologized. He looked at Junhui with a look that he couldn't recognize and before he walked away, Junhui could swear he heard a soft, ‘I’m sorry’ in Mandarin. 

Junhui watched Minghao until he disappeared into his room before turning and making his way to the practice rooms. He saw Mingyu and Jihoon standing at their door, watching him, but was too afraid to look up. 

“Hyung,” Mingyu’s voice was soft, as if he was afraid too. When Junhui looked, Mingyu looked like he felt bad about something, “we-we aren't going out. I-I don't know why he said that. We were just talking about staying in for the night.”

“Thank you Mingyu-yah.” Junhui managed even though he could feel the lump in his throat getting bigger as he held back tears. 

“Are you going to be okay?” Jihoon asked softly.

Junhui nodded, faking a smile he hoped wasn't noticeable. “Of course. Hao and I aren't the same person. We both need a little space. I get that. I’ll see you guys later.” Quickly, Junhui went to the practice room, holding back his tears and hoping no one was in the room already. He had lied too. He wasn't going to be working with Soonyoung. He had just said it to act as if it was no big deal that Minghao didn't want to be with him. When he got to the practice room, he was relieved to see it empty and went inside, locking the door behind him. He sat against the mirror so no one could see him by peeking at it and started crying. Minghao didn't want him anymore. He had physically pushed him away, and Junhui was sure his heart was breaking.

\--------

Junhui never got his rain checked date and instead a whole week went by with him avoiding Minghao as best as he could so his boyfriend wasn't uncomfortable. He'd never been broken up with, but if this was how it felt, he hated it. He missed his best friend, and he wondered if Minghao missed him. 

Junhui walked into the kitchen and all conversation seemed to stop. He looked up and saw Minghao was standing with Mingyu, and the topic of conversation had to be him. “Oh um.” He quickly went and grabbed a water out of the fridge and held it up before walking out again. He stood against the wall, listening to the conversation. 

“Minghao you can't do this to him.” Mingyu said softly.

“It's not like I want to! I just don't know how to tell him.” Minghao sighed. 

“Do it like you told me. He’ll understand.” Mingyu encouraged. 

“I just-” Minghao sighed again and Junhui wondered if his boyfriend had put his head in his hands, like he usually did when he was stressed. “I need some time to figure this out.”

“Fine. But you need to tell him. He deserves that much. Jun hyung loves you Minghao. More than I've ever seen anyone love someone else.” Mingyu said softly. 

Junhui heard them moving and quickly left for his room he shared with Chan, and Seungkwan. He was glad to see he was alone and climbed into his bed. He was finding himself alone more often, and he didn't know if it was just chance or if everyone didn't want to be around him anymore. If his own boyfriend didn't, why wouldn't anyone else?

Junhui looked at the ceiling and tried to figure out what Mingyu and Minghao could've been talking about, and when he couldn't come up with what it would be, he rolled onto his side, squeezed his eyes shut and prayed for sleep to hit.

\--------

“Alright, we got some songs that are going to be in the concert. Don't Wanna Cry, Very Nice, Boom Boom, Jun and Minghao’s My I-” the list went on with a few more songs, but once Junhui heard his and Minghao’s song would be in the concert, his mind went blank. That meant he'd have to practice with Minghao some. He didn't glance across the room to his boyfriend, afraid of what he'd see, but he felt a hand on his arm, gentle and reassuring. He looked and saw Joshua giving him a small smile, as if everything would be okay and not currently falling apart.

Since Junhui had overheard Mingyu and Minghao talking, there was a meeting planned for the upcoming concert, and Soonyoung had already committed everyone to spending some time rehearsing choreography, which meant soon, Junhui would rehearse with Minghao. It would be difficult, considering he still hadn’t talked to his boyfriend the past few weeks, and all he wanted to do was lay in bed and sleep until all the problems were solved.

"Junhui,” Seungcheol looked at him making the younger shake his head before looking back. 

“Yeah hyung? Sorry.” Junhui said, feeling his face get a little hot in embarrassment. 

“We asked if you and Minghao want to go ahead and go rehearse your song a bit.” Seungcheol said. 

“Oh. Um, with an audience or alone?” Junhui asked. He still hadn't looked at Minghao. He wanted to, and itched to see his boyfriend looking at him, but he couldn't. Not after the rejection and knowing that Minghao was holding something back. 

“Well if you don't want an audience we won't come.” Jeonghan said, “but if you don't mind I think we’d like to watch.”

“Probably alone at first.” Minghao spoke up, “and once we’re ready you can come watch.” 

Everyone nodded and Junhui felt grateful for his boyfriend. He needed a chance to get into worked out on how to act with his boyfriend before everyone else came in the picture and he had to hide his hurt even more.

“Why don’t you two go ahead and rehearse, and when you’re ready come grab us. We’ll talk over some details and fill you in on those later.” Soonyoung said.

Junhui nodded and got up. He went to the practice room, listening to Minghao following him. His heart beat quicker in his chest, anxious for what would happen and wondering if anything at all would. In the practice room, he went and grabbed the ribbon, noticing it was still looped on either end for him and Minghao to put their hands through. He listened as Minghao came into the room and shut the door before letting out a sigh. 

“Junnie, can we talk?” Minghao finally spoke up.

Junhui paused, looking at the ribbon, his back still to Minghao. He glanced at the mirror in front of him and saw his boyfriend looking at him through the mirror. “We need to rehearse.”

“Please.” Minghao said softly. 

Junhui put the loop around his wrist and went to the sound system and got it set to play their song. Then he went over to Minghao and put the other loop around his wrist, “we need to rehearse.” He turned and started to walk to the open space, expecting Minghao to follow, but instead he got pulled back by the ribbon until he fell into Minghao.

“Please Jun, I need to talk to you.” Minghao said catching him.

“If you want to break up with me, just do it. Otherwise it can wait.” Junhui said looking at him.

“Break up with you? I wouldn’t. Jun-”

“Fine, then let’s rehearse. This can wait, whatever this is.” Junhui said sternly. He pushed himself away from Minghao and turned to walk back again. When the ribbon wouldn’t move further he sighed and looked at Minghao who stared at him, holding the ribbon. “I’m not doing this. You can’t just ignore me for two months and then expect to have a conversation with me as if nothing is wrong. It doesn’t work like that.” He took the loop off of his wrist and left the room. He couldn’t do it. He walked to his room and shut the door and locked it. He didn’t care that now Seungkwan and Chan couldn’t get in, but instead just wanted to be alone. He sat on his bed and wondered how long it would take for someone to come find him. He figured if Minghao meant what he’d said, it’d only take a minute or two before the younger was knocking on the door.  He wanted Minghao to come for him, even if he wanted to be alone, he wanted Minghao more.

After five minutes past, Junhui gave up and felt the lump in his throat getting bigger. Minghao wasn’t coming. He felt like crying and kept looking up at the ceiling to blink away the tears. He cleared his throat, hoping to stop it. Junhui kept whispering under his breath that it was okay, that  _ he  _ was okay. He was still alive. Right? Junhui had to check his heart beat a few times, feeling like he was going to die with how it was breaking. 

“Jun-ah. Let me in. It's hyung.” Joshua’s voice came at the door as Junhui was trying to calm himself down. “Please Jun-ah. It's just me and Jihoon. Can you let us in?”

“I-I can't.” Junhui managed as he tried to stop himself from overreacting too much. He took a deep breath and held it, hoping to keep himself from crying.

“Please Jun, let us in. We’re worried. No one else is coming.” Jihoon said softly.

That was it. Minghao wasn't coming. He wasn't going to check on his boyfriend. Tears fell down his face as reality hit. Minghao didn't care anymore.

Joshua sighed on the other side of the door and Junhui heard a soft, “alright. This should work.”

“Wai-Wait. I’m c-coming.” Junhui managed. He got up and let his hyung and Jihoon in, falling into Joshua’s arms as soon as the older came in.

“It's okay Jun-ah. I'm here. Just cry.” Joshua soothed. He motioned to Jihoon to shut and lock the door again so Junhui could have privacy. His hand rubbed across Junhui’s back in a soft circular motion and the other was on the back of Juhui’s head.

Jihoon rubbed Junhui’s back, not sure what else to do, but feeling responsible for everything that was going on, even though all he did was offer his and Mingyu’s room to Minghao. “We’re here for you Jun hyung.”

“He didn't come after me.” Junhui finally managed. 

“I know.” Joshua whispered. It was all he could say. Minghao had come into the room after Junhui had left. He didn't say anything except sat back where he had been and listened to Seungcheol explaining what their schedule would be that he found out earlier that day. It wasn't until Soonyoung had gotten in front of Minghao and asked what was going on that Joshua realized Junhui needed someone. Jihoon had followed, wanting to help Junhui too. 

“He doesn't want me anymore.” Junhui whispered, “if he did  _ he'd  _ be hugging me.” 

“It's okay hyung.” Jihoon offered softly, not knowing what else to do.

“The worst part is, I don't know what I did wrong, or if we’re together anymore. I love him, and I lost him.” Junhui whispered. 

Joshua held him tighter, wishing he could hug away all of his friend’s pain. His eyes squeezed shut as he tried to convey how much he wanted to do that in the hug. “I'm sorry Jun. I wish it was different.” 

“Hyungs,” a voice came at the door and they listened. “Seungcheol hyung said we need a team meeting. With Jun hyung.” 

“We’re coming Chan.” Jihoon said.

Joshua held Junhui for a moment longer before pulling back and looking at him, “are you okay?”

“I think so.” Junhui whispered. He wiped his face with the back of his hand. 

Joshua helped him and then lead his friend and Jihoon out of the room where Chan stood, looking at his three hyungs worried.

“Are you okay?” Chan asked softly. 

Junhui shook his head. 

“Hyung.” Chan frowned.

“Come on. Let's go deal with this.” Junhui said, his voice only above a whisper. He took a deep breath and lead the way to where everyone was waiting. He stopped before getting to the door, feeling his heart ache again. 

“I'm right here Jun. You can do this.” Joshua encouraged.

“We’re here for you.” Jihoon agreed. 

Junhui nodded and took another slow deep breath. He took one more before walking into the room. He avoided Minghao’s gaze right away and instead looked around at everyone as he walked to his seat. When he sat, he looked at Minghao who was looking down. He felt his heart ache again and took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly. He wasn't going to cry in front of everyone.

“Are you okay Jun?” Seungcheol asked after a moment. 

Junhui looked up at the leader of their group and shook his head, glancing over to Minghao only to see the younger peeking up at him under his bangs, “not even a little bit hyung.”

“Okay. Do you want to tell us what's going on?” Seungcheol asked. 

Junhui took a deep breath and glanced at Joshua who nodded encouragingly. “Well I'm not even sure. Minghao’s been ignoring me for two months and I don't know if we’re together anymore or what.” 

“Jun, I still-” Minghao was cut off by a sharp look from Jeonghan. 

“It's his turn right now. You’ll have yours.” Seungcheol voiced before looking at Junhui again, “what happened in the practice room?”

“I wanted to just rehearse and get it over with, and he kept asking to talk. Unless he's breaking up with me I figured it could wait. Apparently it was because he kept trying.” Junhui tried and failed keeping the bitter tone out of his voice as he said that and he looked down at his lap, “so I left, not wanting to hear it and well here we are.”

“What else happened?” Wonwoo asked. “Between you and Minghao?”

“Well I talked to Joshua hyung and after I decided I should try again. So I asked Minghao to go out with me on a date and he said he and Mingyu were going somewhere with Seokmin and the rest of the 97 liners. So he asked for a rain check on the date and I agreed. Before we left, I kissed him and he pushed me away.” Junhui felt the tears prick the back of his eyes and he wondered just how it was possible to still be able to cry after how much he had done. “And Mingyu saw and told me that they didn't have anything planned. So what am I supposed to think?”

“That maybe you're overreacting.” Minghao said loud enough that Junhui heard.

“Minghao-” Jeonghan started, but instead Junhui glared at his boyfriend.

“What the hell am I supposed to think then, Hao? That you're cheating? Cause that's the only two things that you'd push me away for. At least have the fucking decency to break up with me before getting yourself another boyfriend or girlfriend.” Junhui yelled. 

“I'm not cheating on you dammit. And I don't want to break up!” Minghao yelled back, “can you get that through your thick skull for a moment Jun and realize that maybe it isn't all about you for once?”

“It's not about me, but yet  _ you're  _ the one ignoring me. So apparently I've done something wrong that you won't tell me. So what is it? Do you hate me? Is there someone else? What have I done to make you-”

“I  _ don't  _ hate you Jun.” Minghao said, his voice lower as he stared at him.

“Wow. Then I'd hate for you to actually hate me if this is how you treat someone you like.” Junhui snapped.

“Okay. Enough guys. Come on.” Soonyoung spoke up. “Are you going to be able to rehearse without arguing?”

“No, we won't.” Minghao said. 

Junhui bit his lip as he looked down. This was it. If Minghao wasn't going to do it, “fine. Then we’re done Minghao. I'm done.” He looked at Seungcheol, forcing himself to hold back tears, “may I be excused from everything else today? I'll be back tomorrow.”

Seungcheol glanced at everyone else who seemed shocked by what they had witnessed. They weren't going to get any work done. “Yeah, go ahead Jun-ah. I'm sorry.”

Junhui shrugged it off before getting up and leaving. 

“Wait, Jun-” Minghao got up and followed. 

“Fuck off. I don't want to hear it. I told you, I'm done.” Junhui said confidently before he left. He grabbed his jacket and left the building before he started walking. He didn't know where he was going, but he needed to get somewhere he could breathe. He pulled the face mask out of his jacket pocket and put it on. He really felt alone, especially when his phone didn't go off. Just as he expected, Junhui lost Minghao.

\--------

A few days later after rehearsing as a group, Soonyoung came up to Junhui asking if they could talk alone.

“What’s going on?” Junhui asked as he took another drink of water.

“I know you probably don’t want to, but are you willing to rehearse My I with him? I’ll stay in the room in case you guys need me, but I know you both need to rehearse.” Soonyoung asked, “I haven’t asked him if he’s willing yet, I wanted to check with you first.”

“Thank you Soonyoung.” Junhui nodded. He glanced over to where Minghao was with Mingyu, talking about whatever they had going on. He felt his heart ache and long to be with Minghao, but he knew that wasn’t possible. Not when the younger didn’t want anything to do with him. “Yeah, I could do it.”

“Thank you hyung. As soon as you’re done if you feel good with it, you can leave. Even if it’s too much.” Soonyoung assured.

Junhui smiled at him and nodded, “I’ll be okay.”

Soonyoung nodded and then left to go to Minghao.

Junhui took a deep breath and turned away from Minghao, so the younger would only see his back when he looked and took the chance to refocus. When he was done, he turned and saw Soonyoung and Minghao were the only two left in the room and Minghao held the end of the ribbon that went around Junhui’s wrist with the other on his. Junhui forced a blank look on his face and walked over taking the ribbon loop. He put it on his wrist and nodded, “alright. Let’s go.”

Minghao nodded silently and followed Junhui into the center of the room. They stood with their backs against each other.

Junhui nodded at Soonyoung and felt Minghao do the same. With the fact his face was hidden from Minghao, Junhui took the chance to think about when Minghao had brought the song to him after working on it. He had been so excited to share it with him, and wanted to sing it with just him. The music started and they stepped away from each other, letting their arms hand and the ribbon string out between them. They had worked on the lyrics the rest of the way together, creating a choreography that they loved, and made them want to pull their hair out at the same time.

They lifted the ribbon over their heads as Junhui’s voice came over the recording,  _ It’s unclear in the fog, but there’s someone inside. It’s familiar as if they feel me, but it’s different different different.   _ When they were on their knees, their heads almost touching, Junhui looked up just for a second to see Minghao had done the same and looked at him. He ached to just stop dancing then, ask Minghao what they were doing being so stupid, and kiss him. But the memory of Minghao’s hands pushing on his chest was still painful, and he took his steps back with Minghao, unraveling the ribbon again. Minghao didn’t want him, he had to remember that.

Junhui remembered when they first met. They both were really quiet and kept to themselves at first, not understanding a lot of Korean. When they'd found out the other was Chinese, they were always found together. Junhui had Joshua helping him with Korean, and then later he'd sit with Minghao and they practiced alone. Late at night, after everyone went to bed, Minghao and Junhui would sneak out of their rooms and meet in the living room. They'd sit on the couch together and talk about everything, how they were homesick and missed family, how hard the training was, their fears of not making it. They were each other’s best friend before anything.

Junhui had asked Minghao out finally, half a year after debuting. He had been so shy and so scared. His words got mixed up and he was sure he spoke a mix of Korean, Mandarin, and even English. Minghao didn't laugh though. The younger had smiled and encouraged him to keep going. When Junhui had finished, he touched his shoulder and made sure he was okay before answering with a very smiley and happy yes. After that, they kept it secret for a few months before finally telling the rest of their team, who had already figured it out, and then their management who said it was okay, but they couldn't go public. It was something they had to live with, being idols. For them, that was enough though. They had each other.

_ When I take one step closer, the flower path grows thorns. Then you reach out to save me.  _ Minghao ran his hand down Junhui’s cheek, his hand stopping at his chest. As his hand moved, Junhui looked at him, feeling like he couldn't breathe. He noticed Minghao was watching him too, but as the song kept going, so did the choreography and they stepped away from each other once more. Every time they danced facing each other, Junhui kept searching for Minghao’s eyes, and sometimes he'd catch them, but the younger was careful not to look at his face. When they were close, he felt his heart race in his chest. He wasn't done with Minghao like he had said. Junhui still longed for him.

_ The small wing on my wingbone, when will it grow bigger?  _ Junhui made sure to be careful, knowing this part hurt when he did it wrong. He had done it twice to Minghao on accident,once when he was annoyed and all three times, the younger yelped and needed to ice his shoulder. But he always forgave Junhui. He'd tell him that it was fine, even though his muscles had been pulled in a way that was painful. He was successful in being careful and let out a sigh in relief. He didn't want to hurt Minghao. Not even with how he had hurt him. 

_ When I close my eyes when I breathe, if I don't deceive myself I won't be lost or sad.  _ Minghao’s back on his own was firm, steady like a rock. He could hear the younger breathe, and wondered if he heard him. They kept dancing, and Junhui’s heart raced as they knelt and held the ribbon down to the floor with one hand while moving the other close to each other's. When their hands touched, he looked at Minghao and saw regret in the younger’s eyes. 

They stood together and slipped the ribbon off their wrists, holding the ends before dropping them. Junhui did his little part alone, glancing over and seeing Minghao staring at the floor, his hands by his sides. He looked defeated. When he waited for Minghao, he watched amazed at how talented he was. He would never not be. They both stood, and then knelt grabbing their ends of the ribbon and holding it up looking at each other. They kept staring, even after the music had stopped, and Soonyoung began walking over to them. 

“Are you okay?” Soonyoung asked finally. 

Junhui nodded and got up, slowly letting go of ribbon. He turned and started leaving, tears filling his eyes again. He felt a hand slide into his own and stop him, surprising him. 

“Wait please. Junhui can we talk?” Minghao’s voice was soft and he gently squeezed Junhui’s hand. 

“I-I don't know…” Junhui whispered. 

“Please. It doesn't have to change what happened between us. But you deserve to know at least. After that we can be friends again even.” Minghao said. 

Junhui turned and saw Minghao was close to tears himself. He glanced at Soonyoung who just quietly nodded, watching everything going on. “Okay. Would you be okay if we left and went to the little cafe?”

Minghao nodded. He left with Junhui, both of them grabbing jackets and a face mask. The silence between them was heavy, but not unwelcome. It gave them both a chance to think. At the cafe, where they had, had a few dates when they got the chance, they ordered their drinks and when they got them, sat down in a corner booth away from everyone. 

“Alright. I'm listening.” Junhui said softly. He wasn't sure he wanted these answers, but he knew that he wanted to know just as badly. 

“Well okay.” Minghao took a deep breath, “after we released the song there was a lot going on about us right?” 

Junhui nodded. He remembered how fans thought it was amazing he and Minghao had done something special. 

“Well there were a couple rumors with it,” Junhui remembered those too, “they actually didn't bother me. I was okay with them. I mean we could still be us, our team was okay with it, we were okay with it. But my parents started hearing the rumors. My mom called me about a month later and she wanted to know when I first started dating you.”

Junhui felt guilt filling his chest. He should've realized. “Did you tell her? Hao, you didn't have to. I was okay with it.” 

Minghao shook his head, “I didn't. I told her we were friends, and how I wanted to do something special with you since you're the one who makes me feel less homesick. She believed me. Until about two months ago. She was convinced I lied. Something about a  _ close source  _ saying they knew everything about our relationship.”

Junhui felt sick. He knew the report. They had to sit through a quiet settlement with the ones that produced the paper, to rescind what had been said. It was done in two days, but that hadn't been soon enough apparently.

“I was scared. My mom was threatening suing the company, suing the reporter, suing you. My dad was ready to come and drag me back home, making me end the contract.” Minghao whispered, “I couldn't let them hurt you Jun.” 

“Hao,” Junhui reached over and grabbed his hand. He felt awful, “so you started ignoring me.”

“I didn't know what to do. I just wanted the rumors to stop so they wouldn't hurt you, and it was working. Mingyu told me to tell you so many times. I almost did, I was just too scared what you'd say. And well I lost you without telling you, so I guess I was an idiot. No, I don't guess. I was. I let my parents stupid beliefs dictate what I did, and I'm sorry. You deserved an explanation sooner. You deserve better.” Minghao said before pulling his hand away from Junhui’s. 

“Come on.” Junhui said after a moment. He got up and made sure Minghao followed before they went back to the dorm. As soon as they were in the privacy of the dorm where no one in the outside world could see, Junhui turned and kissed Minghao, holding his face in his hands. 

Minghao was surprised, but he didn't hesitate and kissed Junhui back, moving closer to the older, hoping he knew he didn't regret this. 

“I don't want  _ better  _ Hao. I want you. That's all I've wanted these past few months. You should've told me as soon as it all started. I would've helped you. You shouldn't have had to go through this alone.” Junhui said when he pulled away.

“I wanted to Junnie. I just-I'm sorry.” Minghao whispered. 

“Oh Hao. I love you.” Junhui kissed his forehead and then pulled him into his arms, holding him close. “Please be my boyfriend again.”

“Of course Junnie, as long as you'll have me.” Minghao said softly as he hugged Junhui back. The guilt that had sat heavy on his chest for three months finally was gone, and standing in Junhui’s arms in the entryway of their dorm, Minghao felt like he could finally breathe again.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I hope you liked reading this. If you did, please feel free to write a comment. It took me about a week to write this in total, so I would REALLY appreciate if you took the time to say something kind.
> 
> I apologize for any mistakes, and yes, I know there will be some, please don't comment that every 2 comments.


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